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like a wave of rotting fruit - 2003-10-05
These nights just don't endear themselves to me like they did this past summer. My month of doing nothing draws to an end, and I am damn happy for that fact, yet why am I a little edgy about starting a new job monday? Like, I will actually miss these days of doing nothing; poring over the slightest minutia of every minor celebrity death or dismemberment, getting greasier than a Trekkie in a McDonalds dumpster, and pretending there is no other care in the world other than that night's prime time schedule. It's the ultimate catch 22 in life; when you have nothing to do, in the back rooms of your mind, you are constantly praying for some sort of work or schooling. And when you are so busy, all you want are no responsibilitie, the time to watch videos and play Playstation from the nineties. Life is such a sinister game of ping pong in that way. a montage shows the passage of time If only I could see once again- no, not see, feel- the montage for all of my years post y2k, I think I would be happier. Because I kind of feel like that one little lemming who did something uncharacteristically bold, and jumped up onto a very high plateau, but he is stuck up there, all alone, walking back and forth, while everybody remains not necessarily below, but... elsewhere. Something is making me feel really nauseous and uneasy, so... I am going to go.
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