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what kind of lives are these? - 2003-10-12
I might have somewhat suffered having spendt my formative social years in a serious relationship. In the face of the meat market that is our social scene round here, I am hiding out behind the bonesaw. Hah hah. Not that I care too much, but you know... it's like a grade eight dance, you want to go ask a girl to dance, have some 'punch', wear your class ring whatever. I'd like to do that but, I don't have the insides. To be fair, I have only ever been hit on myself at bars, I have never tried to hit on any girl. Because I am a coward, and I am cheap, and I hate not being in control. Charming, eh ladies? I am sure you want to bring this one home to dad. Aw, but I kid. 'i can't be blind, jerry, the blind are courageous.' What's alarming is out of maybe 150 girls at Phil's last night, there was one that really stuck out. She wasn't drinking, but having more fun than anyone. She had great hair. She knew all the lyrics. She had a genuine aura of positivity, the sort of thing that kind of gives you a halo of warmth, like watching a puppy sleep in a sock drawer. She had a quite noticeable passion for life, because people at Phil's, they are all unhappy, I mean, that's why they go to Phil's, to hide in a dark basement, and drink Stock Ale for $1.75. But she was sincerely, uhhh, above all that, yet not pretentious in the least based on that fact. So, I spend a good portion of the night bleating about this. (ie- 'Man, I LOVE her. She's got EVERYTHING', etc. the standard Snake from Degrassi nervous rant.) So I show her to somebody, and they say 'the one that looks like Maggie?' Uh oh. And then to someone else 'Yeah. She looks just like Maggie.' Ambivalent sigh. Aaaaanyway, it was funny. I might have stared a little too much, but I did get an eye contact and smile that either said 'my you're cute, you remind me of my older brother.' or 'heh, fair enough, but don't come any closer. this is my sandwich'. I doubt she would want to be seen near the losers doing air guitar on the dance floor. She'd have to understand irony. Long story short, I think I'll stick to meeting girls online. Ha ha. I don't regret spending my formative clubscene years, by the way, in a relationship. I basically wouldn't trade those years for anything, so... me, suffer? Never. It's cheaper to just stare anyway. I wouldn't want to tell my children I met their mother at Phil's, a club that is sure to be barbecued in the tragic Great White reunion tour of 2006. Anyway, back to Abstract tonight, perhaps. I am taken back to my years in school, living in Waterloo... it's just a shame I don't have a class to sit through Tuesday morning with a coffee, and still drying hair. It's a pleasurable depression, really.
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