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...off he goes - 2003-11-06
whoop-dee-doo, tarantula town! Live - Lightning Crashes It's a song about rebirth; not supposed to be a sad song... It just kind of becomes that way, contextually, because it sounds that way... and that's the way others perceive it... Of course, I am not helped by the fact that I only enjoy the first two minutes of it... Sigh... Well, here we are kids. I have been contemplating this... And how I should approach what is likely to be my final entry ever here, and final entry ever, perhaps, in an online diary... It has been four or five years writing steady online; a place for me to vent... but also a place to communicate and network with people. To share similar heartbreaks, and exchange track listings of bad mixed tapes. I've certainly met a few people who have changed my life, through these words. I don't know that I need to sit here and thank you all... or to thank myself, even, for recording the formative years of my adulthood, and all my wonderful memories that I may soon forget. Rufus Wainwright - Across The Universe To all of you, I don't know what I want to say... The words are failing me in some cases... but being close to some people has been enough... sometimes there is just an emotion that transcends words... that can only be captured with a gaze, or a hug, or even a scent... I think about those of you who read this... I never asked you to, you just do because you like it, or you are genuinely interested in me, or my words, or my life... I need to thank you. And I want to say, that you should go on, and read more, and write more on your own sites... and soldier through all your heartbreak and angst or even the boredom that causes you to write here. Because you can create your own world... And you can do whatever you want to do, even without money... just as long as you have the will. Collective Soul - Needs I am bringing two books with me. I am bringing Life After God which is my favourite fictional piece of spiritual non-fiction ever for reasons that can only apply to me. And I am bringing Conversations With God, that someone extremely special once gave to me, but I was too ignorant or stubborn to give it a chance... But I think now is the time for chances... Chemical Brothers - Asleep From Day These past few days, have totally been the clip show before the series finale... I have relived some moments very vividly, almost as if my life is flashing before me in neon... as if I am about to die. This may be one of the triter things I have published, but, I am not about to die... I am about to live. U2 - All I Want Is You So, I am about to be off to India... I am here right now listening to these songs that have soundtracked my life, and this diary, as if they are coming back one last time for their contractually obligated 'goodbye' appearance. Filter - Take A Picture See? Jeff Buckley - Last Goodbye I leave you with one last memory that should really have no place in my mind at this stage, or even for this song, but I remember one Thanksgiving, I went to a cottage in the Muskokas with Kim's family, and her, her mother, and her dog and I all got lost on a hike through the woods right before the big dinner... I mean, we were genuinely lost to the point of being in 'Blair Witch-esque' trouble (if the Muskokas had witches, anyway... hehehe). Luckily we were saved by some hungover guy in his party boat. Heh. And now something else is coming back... We were canoeing that weekend... and we shared a cigarette under the railbridge in the canoe... I doubt that she remembers this, and I am surprised that I do... But... I do. It's the memories from the past that aid in my courage to undertake what I am about to do... JJ72 - Formulae I am just kind of digressing now... I need to go before this becomes a eulogy perfomed by Jian Ghomeshi; written well enough, but about 15 minutes too long, and cheapened by the spotlight glaring off his leather pants. That one's for you, Hilary. So as my ultimate hypocrisy, I shall end this entry with someone else's words. Lyrics. We all do it, here in Blogtopia. I remember days when I felt down on this culture, or even my life here... I would put on this song (often quoting it wherever I was writing...) And now it's finally happening...: Pearl Jam - Breath "whoa, i suggest you step out on your porch run away my son...see it all... oh, if i knew where it was Oh, see the world. Woah. Goodnight. Thanks.
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